Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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