Quick, to the slutcave!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
