Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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