Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize