I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
