I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
