Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
3pm strippers are depressing
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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