I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
