It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
