I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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