Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
