New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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