I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
