You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
