I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
