so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize