Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
