great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
