im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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