After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
