haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
