No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
