ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
