i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
