so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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