batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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