I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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