in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
