You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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