You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
