oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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