just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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