I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
