Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize