so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
