He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
