So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
How's work?
Spinning.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
