hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
