We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
