literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize