How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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