remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
