What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
