You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
