I wannas sexs uuuuu
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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