I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
