Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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