yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Barsexuality is the new black.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She's the barista slut.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
