so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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