Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
