i think i have herpe
just one?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize