I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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