the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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