my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
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