it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
