Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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