I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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