You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
