i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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