I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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