LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
