Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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