I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
