Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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