So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
