You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
