He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
